I need you, Lor…

I need you, Lord I need you. Every hour I need you. My one defense, my righteouness. Oh, God, how I need you!

I think after 5 years I’ve finally found a church in this valley I actually like. I actually wake up wanting to go to church instead of dreading or ignoring it. I know I haven’t been the best example to my girls, but at least its an honest one.

Sunday we sang this song by Matt Maher – Lord, I need you. My dad recently posted that he reads his devotion every day but then forgets Gods with him all day, not just in his devotions, and expressed his desire to remember and live like Gods with him in every hour

How true it is that we NEED God every hour. Despite our best intentions, efforts, we need our savior in every hour. So, it is with this song that I will start bringing God closer to my heart. I feel defeated, tired, down, frustrated a lot lately with life. Tenth Avenue Norths song Worn hits home. “I’m worn, I’m tired. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing. I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. God I know you can give me rest. I know I need to lift my eyes up, but I’m too weak life just won’t let up. I know that you can give me rest. So I cry out with all that I have left. Let me see redemption win. Let me know the struggle ends. That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn. I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life. And all that’s dead inside can be reborn.”

 Which is why I need my God every hour. I need him to renew my soul. I cant make it through life without him.

I have been pushing God away. I don’t remember the last time I did a bible study or read my bible outside sunday morning. I believe in God, I have faith in him, I trust him…more times than I don’t. But a close personal relationship…I don’t feel like I’ve had since I was  little girl. There have been seasons where I’ve desired to feel him closer and I prayed and read my bible. And those times I did feel Gods peace, as I was genuine. But once I have that peace I seem to think I don’t need to continue my genuine, desperate walk with God. Why is that…

“Lord I come, I confess. Bowing here, I find my rest. Without you, I fall apart. You’re the one that guides my heart. Where sin runs deep, your grace is more. Where grace is found is where you are. Where you are Lord, I am free. Lord I NEED you, oh I NEED you. Every hour I NEED you. My one defense my righteousness oh, God, how I NEED you. So teach my song to rise to you. When temptation comes my way. When I cannot stand I’ll fall on you. Jesus, your my hope and stay.  Oh God, how I NEED you”